How stupid do they think we are?

No woman in her right mind thinks that pole and/or lap dancing counts as exercise, even if we did see it on Oprah.

I'm not saying you won't burn calories (especially if you're doing it right), I'm saying it's no substitute for an hour in spin class. And that it's possible that this new exercise concept was created by straight men, for straight men, with little consideration of women at all.

Besides, how sexy can it be if she's reading a book as she's 'dancing'? I'm just saying.

It's not that I'm easy

It's that I know what I like. And I looooooove Haagen-Dazs new Mayan Chocolate. Chocolate ice cream, fudge ribbon, pronounced cinnamon flavour.

I went to the store for ice cream, not sure what I'd pick, and there it was. I bought it without a moment's hesitation and am currently consuming it over a sliced banana. Heaven.

AND there are serving suggestions.

Shuesday: Here Pucci Pucci Pucci!

I love Emilio Pucci as much as the next girl, but booties? Really? With an ugly lace up back? Not so much, even on sale.

Flirting on Public Transit

I watched Derailed this weekend, and (not that I was big on this to begin with), can now recommend with impunity that you NOT chat it up with attractive fellow commuters. I don't care if they look like Jennifer Aniston or Clive Owen, it's not worth it. And Vincent Cassel makes an excellent baddie - added bonus to tap into all the anti-French sentiment 'round here.

Sidenote: JA had on an awesome bracelet - I think it was this one.

Don't Hate Me ...

but The OC does have the occasional word of wisdom. To wit:

Just because a girl isn't tied to some train tracks doesn't mean that she should be ignored. - Kirsten to Ryan

Style style style

I'm still on the fence regarding the Online Shopper column in Thursday Styles. I mean, really, a woman who doesn't own a good pair of non-denim pants? What does she wear to work? Even if she's a freelance writer who doesn't have to negotiate a shared workspace, what does she wear out to a casual dinner? For cocktails, to brunch, or a wedding/baby shower? Are her choices really jeans or a skirt? The cavalier tone of these articles just reinforces the notion that these fashion emergencies are completely fictional.

That said, those pants sound amazing.

Regarding beards, let's start by exploding the myth that women don't like them. If we like YOU, whether or not you have facial hair isn't going to be the dealbreaker for most intelligent women.* We can adjust to any additional exfoliation they may provide. Beards can be added and subtracted with relative ease. I don't recommend them if they're scraggly, or if they reduce you to a pair of eyes and a nose tip surrounded by a burqa-esque cloud of hair. I'm also not a fan of the hair as scarf all over your neck look, but feel free to play with it a little. The very fact that you're willing to experiment with your look says more about you than the actual results, and, as previously noted, you can always grow it back/shave it off. The Renaissance Man shaved his head recently, and the results were amazing. In addition to the striking visual of a bald head in a sea of hair, his blue eyes now POP out of his face.

The FG understands that, after years of compromising your style, the new divorcee may want to let loose a little when it comes to revenge-decorating the new pad. And definitely if you're the one staying in the old pad. But black walls?

He's especially pleased with a purple living room appointed with gray Cappellini chairs, a Paul Smith rug in a rainbow of colors, a black pool table and a photograph by Wang Qingsong, of a Chinese man in a tub surrounded by women. The picture, he said, "screams independence and bachelorhood."

It also screams mid-life crisis, regardless of your marital state. Just don't do it.

*This also applies to any thinning you may be experiencing on top. If we can even see the top of your head, we don't really care. Don't believe me? You haven't been watching Grey's Anatomy, where the hot former model turned surgeon turns down the gorgeous 20-something egomaniac she's been sleeping with to be with the man she loves, a 40-something scruffy-looking guy who's dying of heart failure. Just because it's on tv doesn't make it a lie.

Instant Gratification

I couldn't possibly make you wait seven whole days for next Shuesday for these boot hangers. They solve the issue of falling down boots, while letting gravity to your de-wrinkling. Now, if I only had enough room in my closet ...

Hanging Boot Shapers clear the floor for other shoes. A pair is $9.79 from organize.com or (800) 600-9817.*

I did some due diligence on these - couldn't find them at organize.com, but they are available at The Container Store (also through Amazon).

What to Buy [NYT]

Spring

has apparently sprung, so I went to work today sans scarf for the first time in weeks, and in a light coat. And now, I'm pretty sure I have a cold. It could be allergies (or some combination thereof), because the cherry and plum trees are all in bloom. Which is beautiful, but makes my eyes itchy.

Don't get me wrong. I heart spring. The thought of two blue sky days in a row in the place where I live is, at this point, more appealing than 10 days in Mexico (ok, almost). I'm just impatient.

Again.

Don't Go, Mr. Commissioner!

Just becuase Tagliabue is SO fun to say.

NFL Commissioner Tagliabue to Retire [NYT]

Shuesday: Girl of 1,000 Shoes

Zia Ziprin has the Best Job Ever!

In the back of Girls Love Shoes, her vintage store on Hester Street in the Lower East Side, Ms. Ziprin presides over what she believes is the only shoe archive in the city. Soon after she started selling vintage shoes in 2002, Ms. Ziprin, a doe-eyed designer with a perky manner, noticed that shoe designers were snatching up pairs they liked for inspiration and research. This did not make her happy. "It got painful to sell my most beautiful shoes," she said wistfully as she stood near the color-coordinated racks in the back of her store. "I'm attached to them." A friend suggested that she curate a selection of her favorite shoes like a museum exhibit and make them available for rent. Thus, Ms. Ziprin's 1,000-pair archive was born, filled with shoes that rent for $60 a week, or $350 for a 12-week season.

She's just so entrepreneurial! (in addition to being 'perky').

Last time I checked, this was the 21st Century ...

This is ridiculous. The TSA still doesn't know what they're looking for.

The female head of Australia's major air carrier was suspected of being a terrorist at a U.S. airport because a security guard refused to believe a woman could run an airline. Qantas Airways chairman Margaret Jackson has said she was detained and frisked at Los Angeles airport last year after a search revealed she was carrying aircraft diagrams in her briefcase.

Security Ordeal for Qantas Boss [CNN]

Trivia Report 3/19: Small Packages

A tiny team of three made its way cautiously to The Jones tonight. Stripped of many of our usual playas, we strode through the door with faux confidence and claimed our regular booth - which was unusually roomy for a change. The fries were excellent, as always, although the reduced team size resulted in a surfeit of dipping sauces that we were too embarrassed to take home with us.

We WON!

Total score was 30 out of a possible 40, and we won by two points. Categories included Animals of the Deep, Fine Art, Classic Literature, Spellbound, 1990's TV shows, Historical Oops and *#@%, Brat Pack and Monster Ballads. In spite of missing some obvious answers ( how many "i'"s in daiquri?), and an hour-long discussion of what, exactly, is an arthropod, we pulled it off. So now we know where some of the brain trust that is our usual team is stored. AND we have free passes to the Aquarium. Word to the wise, stay away from barnacles in heat.

R.I.P. Oleg Cassini

The man most famous for collaborating with Jackie Kennedy to create her signature style when she became First Lady at 31 passed away this weekend at the age of 92. The young Mrs. Kennedy favoured Parisian designers, but when her husband became President, she realized she'd need to find a new place to shop. Cassini was European born, but had a New York address, and the rest is history.

You thought I'd forgotten, didn't you?

Well, I was going to blog the Oscars, but got caught up and whirled away in a swirl of champagne and snowflakes and it's sooo too late now.

(Pause)

Oh all right. Uma was far and away the best put together. Naomi and Charlize were disasters at opposite ends of the style pole. I loved Kiera's necklace but didn't think much of the dress. Reese disapppointed and J.Lo was over the top in an entirely new way. Plus, she's falling into Nicole's trap of constantly slicking her hair back. Michelle Williams was lovely, but I didn't like the too-red lipstick or the spiky necklace. Hilary Swank was in desperate need of jewelry, and Dame Judy showed us, again, how to be beautiful well past middle age. Classy, classy lady, that one.

Shuesday: Dot Dot Dot

Shuesday again?! That's what happens when your blogging frequency dips to unprecedented lows. Although none of my compatriots have been blogging much either. It must be the weather. Despite dire morning weather predictions day after day, spring is determined to get here. I can see it just around the corner, I swear.

The FG has a long long history with navy blue and therefore the entire genre of sailor wear for spring is mostly out of bounds (Although I continue to adore this jacket). So instead of navy & white, I do black and white for spring, and these shoes are perfect.

If you need a punch of colour, or just want to re-capture your summer camp days, these are super fun. The FG's not a huge wedge fan, but those who love them love them beaucoup, and they appear to be here to stay, at least through the summer.

Capitalizing on Adoption

From an article on the increasing theft of Chinese babies to be sold to orphanages for foreign adoptions:

Whole industries have sprouted to service the people involved. Travel agencies ferry adopting foreign families to sightseeing spots in Beijing, then on to the provinces handling the adoptions. Playrooms occupy space at five-star hotels in cities that have become hubs for adoptions, their lobbies often packed with foreigners carrying Chinese babies. Around the White Swan hotel in Guangzhou, the city through which every family must pass to receive a U.S. visa for a child, streets are thick with stroller-rental shops and silk baby outfits embossed with traditional Chinese logos. The hotel gives each adopting family a special doll manufactured by Mattel -- "Going Home Barbie," the iconic plastic figure carrying a Chinese baby.

Stealing Babies for Adpotion [WA Post]

What the ... ?

Miracle on ice? How about miracle on grass? How else to explain Canada's 8-6 victory over the United States on Wednesday in their second game of the World Baseball Classic? If the Tampa Bay Devil Rays won the World Series this year, it would not be as stunning.

No comment required. Except ... check out the link for the photo of the cranky Americans.

Canada Beats the US at Its Own Game [NYT]

Shuesday: It's raining, it's pouring ...

Thanks to the Japanese, you won't have to worry about wearing your best white shoes in the rain anymore.

I would SO trip in these.

Choices, choices

Sweet Home Alabama is on tonight. A movie, I hasten to add, I have never seen. Nor will I be watching it tonight.

Still, choosing between Patrick Dempsey and Josh Lucas ...

mmmmmmm.

We're sorry

We didn't mean to, we swear.

Threadless T-shirts

Give me Liberty ...

''Civil liberties do not mean much when you are dead,'' Sen. Jim Bunning, R-Ky., told the Senate.

Really? Strange, I thought that was why this country was founded ...

Senate Approves Curbs on Some Patriot Act Powers [NYT]