Everyone's in therapy

OK, not yet (and not at NY prices), but while I've been putting my new place together (in my head, via window/online shopping and reading design magazines with ridiculously expensive furniture from Italy), I remembered an article from the NYT last fall about these people and their 250 square foot apartment. (Actually, the article I read was about making room in aforementioned space for their baby.) Anyway, they have a website, which is quite fun. You'll find it here. I realize I may be 4 years late on this one, but I don't really care. I'm just excited about my new place, and the balance between running out to pick up everything you must have right away and waiting to see what comes your way as you explore your new city.

(Of course, part two of The Purge will no doubt start soon ... because there are things that just won't work here. Sadface.)

Shuesday: Sublime? Ridiculous?

You decide. Apparently they're available at Bloomingdale's, price upon request.

Yes, Virginia

It is good to have a room of one's own. It is white and mostly bare, except for the boxes, but it is mine. And it is also such a pleasure to have my grandmother's silver.

Fabulous Gowns

The Wish They Hadn't awards to go Beyonce (rocks? shells?) , Nicole Kidman (Happy Holidays?), Naomi Watts (Cate already wore that dress, and, Saggy!), Kirsten Dunst (too busy), Cameron Diaz (too wrinkly), and Abigail Breslin (it's a child, not a cupcake).

My favourite colour

Love love love it!

The Sartorialist

Walk softly

and wear high heels, says The Manolo:

Dear Manolo

I’m 5’11” and have always been told I am too tall to wear the high heels. Now, at 40 years of age, I am feeling confident about wearing them. Could you please tell me how high is too high a heel?

Katrina

Manolo says, this question about the tall shoes for the tall girls is one that the Manolo must answer at the least once every six months, for no matter how many times the Manolo says it is okay to wear the heels, the tall girls still write to ask the permission.

In this case, the Manolo gives the same advice to all of the super fantastic girls—tall, short, thin, stout. Stop slumping, stand erect, throw back the shoulders, and wear the heels. Nothing is more appealing than the good posture and the self-confidence.

If you are the tall girl in the heels, do not be afraid if many insecure men will now quail before your majestic Statue-of-Liberty-like beauty. Sooner or later you shall meet your heroic Colussus of Rhodes, one who will properly appreciate your fierce femininity. Together, you shall make beautiful clanging bronze music.

How high the heel? The Manolo answers, how high the moon?

Shuesday: When Shuesday lands on Moving Day ...

You get these, four days later.

Ending the Reese / Kirsten debate

I've been having the Reese Witherspoon versus Kirsten Dunst conversation with various men and women over the last two years, and I've finally made up my mind. It's Claire Danes.

Locally Grown

Ammunition

Not that anyone's fallen down on her handbag duties, but the FG would like to offer up this lovely bag by Hogan to celebrate this special day.

(The long handles allow you to work up healthy degree of momentum as you swing it at his head for forgetting/not meeting well laid out and extensively hinted at expectations.)

PS: It's not about you. Whomever you are. Really.

This morning, on the subway,

a man sat down across from me and began flossing his teeth. I kid you not. The looks I exchanged with my fellow passengers were priceless.

That's all, just thought you should know.

Shuesday: Hello Sailor!

Although we're scheduled for snow and ice pellets in the next two days, spring is on its way, really. And here's the perfect nautical shoe to celebrate. Plus you'll be able to walk in it all day.

Miami, anyone?

While I do have a new apartment to decorate, and am interested in the seasonal whims of designers, my home is in New York. Which is why this chair won't be gracing the new pad. It is so bright it hurts.

Intimidation

Every day, Molly and I stroll through the park - where stroll means I try to keep her moving and she's walking through a scratch-and-sniff paradise - and for the most part, things are calm. But when another dog-and-walker unit approaches, or even just a walker, I tend to rein her in, after a quick review of body language. She's not that big (at least, not compared to the British Mastiff in my extended family) but she is a Rottweiler, and people have expectations. Mostly negative ones, which means they're poised to avoid her at all costs, and their little dogs Toto too. Little do they know.

Molly's the sweetest dog of her size I've ever met, even calm and slightly reserved with other dogs. She's positively shy when it comes to people - it took her a week to adjust to having me in the house, and she still gets up and moves out of the way if we make eye contact as I walk through a room. (On the other hand, East Coast Guy had her at hello.) The running theory is that she wasn't well treated by her previous owners, and it's made her skittish. Once I get close enough to say to my fellow dog walker, "It's OK, she's really friendly," we have a delightful exchange of dog-related pleasantries and comments on the weather, as the dogs in question make friends. (She did swipe a big green throw toy from a miniature schnauzer at the off-leash area on Tuesday morning, but she brought it to me promptly and didn't steal it again.) She's a lovely girl.

In the past year, several close friends have told me I'm intimidating. Aside from my height (and there are plenty of men and women taller than me in this city), I don't totally get it. I'm friendly, but I hate walking into a party alone just as much as you do. I mispronounce words and worry about getting food caught in my teeth daily. I have to re-orient myself every time I come up from the subway (despite prominent signs indicating which corner you'll be on when you get to the street), and sometimes I still walk the wrong way. Several blocks.

I make bad choices, like getting out of a cab after midnight in an unknown part of Brooklyn because the driver doesn't know where we are either, and then I leave my hat and gloves in the car and am only rescued because a friend from the party texts me to check that I'm ok and I realize that I'm lost and liable to freeze to death before I figure out how to get home, so I text back, no, I'm not ok, please call me. I drank the Kool-Aid at work several years ago, but I don't know what I'm doing a fair percentage of the time, and I hate picking up the telephone (which is now an important part of my job. Oops.). I don't know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know I don't want my career to be the sum of my legacy.

In other words, I don't have my shit together in any way shape or form. It may look good on the outside, but peek through the window, baby, and you'll see I'm just keeping it together with double-sided tape and a smile.

Upping the wedding ante

These people are SO much better than the rest of us.

“Anything individuals can do to reduce their overall environmental footprint can make a difference.” Joshua Houdek, 32, and Kristi Papenfuss, 35, are planning a “zero waste” wedding for 250 guests in August. It will take place on a farm and include compostable plates and utensils, organic and fair trade-certified food, locally brewed beer and organic wine and wedding rings that are “100 percent reclaimed, recycled, ecologically responsible gold,” said Mr. Houdek, who works as a Sierra Club organizer in Minneapolis.

I need a drink - non organic champagne flown in from France, please.

How Green Was my Wedding [NYT]

Baraka, the playwright

I had the privilege to attend a performance of Amiri Baraka's play, Dutchman, in revival at Cherry Lane Theatre where it was first performed in 1964. Starring Dule Hill and Jennifer Mudge, "a white woman seduces a naïve bourgeois black man on the train with terrifying results." Baraka himself appeared after the performance to speak and take questions, and the FG took notes on the thought and proviking dialogue. Selected quotes:

"Tommy S. Clarence"
"We've had two Secretaries of State who are basically responsible for threatening coloured people."
"You have a right to speak as long as you have nothing to say, you can never be safe with your words."
"Now we have the InJustice System."
"When we get a Negro President, maybe then we get ovens."

Shuesday: Chilled to the bone

But with shoes like these, who cares?

Home Free!*

I signed a lease today on a studio apartment in the East Village, one block from my initial landing place with The Lead Singer. Top floor in a less than 10 yr old building with an elevator, decent sized kitchen & bathroom, big windows and a glass door, with in-unit heat & a/c, and control thereof. By the time I move in, it will be freshly painted, the hardwoods re-done, cabinets checked and any minor repairs made.

I'm not convinced it's mine yet. Maybe when I pick up the keys. (This, btw, is a photo of one of the streets bordering Tompkins Square Park, within a block of the next Chez FG.)

*Where free means that I've handed over a ridiculous amount of money to two people I've not actually met, given over rights I didn't even know I had, and signed my life away.

Near ........... Far

So perhaps it's because I was born & spent my formative years in a nation that prides itself on its vast geography, or perhaps it was the 10 years in the wide open spaces of the West, where a drive from Seattle to Portland and back in one day seemed like a great idea (or maybe it's just growing up in the suburbs), but it really doesn't bother me to spend half an hour on public transportation getting somewhere. This is a very useful life skill to hone prior to one's arrival in NYC. Because it takes at least half an hour to get anywhere. And then there are the times it takes twice as long, for no apparent reason.

For reasons I haven't entirely ascertained, it took me over an hour to go from Prospect Park South to Bay Ridge for brunch Sunday morning (after dog walk #1). Slightly less time coming home, and then an hour and a half to New Jersey to see The Game with The Republican and his lovely wife (after dog walk #2). Have I mentioned how cold it is this week? But I survived, and it was worth the trip to see the friends in question.

Grover

2008: Let the gaffes begin

In case you don't read ABC's The Note (which the FG highly recommends), here's their take on the Biden faux-pax:

...while there is no precise parallel (many of the candidates like to jabber, but Biden is in a category by himself), the comparable moves would be as follows:

Hillary Clinton saying on the first day, "I would look to Bill constantly."

Barack Obama saying on the first day. . . exactly what Biden said, but in the first person.

John Edwards saying on the first day, "Not having a real job anymore means I have the time to do this right."

John McCain saying on the first day, "The way forward on Iraq starts with Iran and ends with North Korea."

Mitt Romney saying on the first day, " No, I won't take my orders from Joseph Smith — they'll come direct from the Angel Moroni."

Rudy Giuliani saying on the first day, "A man's personal life and character has nothing to do with the job of the Presidency."

Chris Dodd saying on the first day, "Just like Joey Liebs, I. . . "

Tommy Thompson saying on the first day: "Working for the president was satisfying, even though he didn't know my name and the press forgot I was still there. But I loved having a driver. HE knew my name. Oh, yessir!"

Mike Huckabee saying on the first day, "As soon as I get the big chair, I'll be able to eat whatever I want. State dinner equals all-you-can-eat buffet."

Tom Vilsack saying on the first day, "I LOVE these jokers who jet in wearing L.L. Bean crap and think they know what it means to be a Hawkeye."

Wes Clark saying on the first day, "If you liked General Haig, you'll REALLY salute General Clark."

Sam Brownback saying on the first day, "The new 11th commandment is, 'Vote for the REAL Republican — me.' "

Newt Gingrich saying on the first day, "I can no longer deny the nation my brilliance. Electnewt.com. Deal with it!"

Bill Richardson saying on the first day, "This isn't about ego."

Jim Gilmore saying on the first day, "We'll bring back the Confederacy, but we'll call it a 'free trade zone.'"

Dennis Kucinich saying on the first day, "I'm in it to win it."

War is Peace

Newspeak? Double think? Anyone?

US Reconfigures the Way Casualty Totals are Given

Statistics on a Pentagon Web site have been reorganized in a way that lowers the published totals of American nonfatal casualties in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Dr. Michael Kilpatrick, deputy director of force health protection and readiness at the Defense Department, said the previous method of tallying casualties was misleading and might have made injuries and combat wounds seem worse and more numerous than they really were.

The old method lumped many problems under the label “casualties,” including illnesses, minor injuries and injuries from accidents, as well as wounds sustained in combat. But the public may assume that every casualty is a war wound, Dr. Kilpatrick said, so the site was changed to avoid misunderstandings.

1984

Barbie couture

Once upon a time, you made couture gowns for Barbie with toilet paper. Well, not anymore. Zac Posen’s new toy has your favorite plastic fashion plate in a designer original, with lush red hair inspired by Zac’s sister Alexandra. Even better—instead of Ken, this doll comes with its own plastic Zac, plus a handbag, shoes, and the Posen studio puppy, Tina. Of course, this Barbie costs more than her mass-market sisters, but with a stamp of approval from Vogue, that’s to be expected.

$300 at F.A.O. Schwartz, 767 Fifth Ave., at 58th St.; 212-644-9400.

NYMag