Urban Etiquette

New York mag has published an Urban Etiquette guide (it's OK, the same rules apply if you're not in NYC, just skip over the part about subways) and it is hilarious. Exerpts:

How do you tell someone he's been mispronouncing your name for three months?
Tell him a story in which you use your own name, clearly enunciating where he’s got it wrong. For example, if you were Ralph Fiennes, you’d say, “I called him and said, ‘Hi, this is Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaafe Fines.’”

What’s the best way to split the check in a group?
At a group meal, an equal split should be the baseline expectation: It falls to those who ordered more-expensive dishes to offer to pay more, not to others to pay less. Failure to partake in the appetizers or the wine can be cited as a reason to cut one’s contribution only if there was some socially sanctioned reason for declining (veganism, Islam, pregnancy). If you just got the soup and you don’t think that’s fair, well, think about whether it’s “fair” to make your friends eat dinner with a buzz-killing cheapskate.

The one that gets me, and is not addressed here, is those damn people who barge into the elevator before letting those in the elevator off. Same goes for the bus. It's not like you're that desperate to get to work.