Protecting the Friendly Skies

How do I love thee, TSA? Let me count the ways ...

An article in today's Style section detailing makeup products permitted in carry-on luggage post August 10th's arrests in Britain led me to the TSA website and their list of what is and isn't allowed in airplane cabins these days. And it's fascinating.

The tiny but potentially deadly needlework scissors I accidentally left in with my knitting? Just fine. Same goes for corkscrews (which will please Midwest Medved no end), safety razors, toy weapons, cigar cutters (not that there's anywhere to smoke anymore), cuticle cutters, tweezers (because airplane bathroom lighting is excellent for eyebrow detailing. Seriously.), and up to 4 oz of personal lubricant.

On the other hand, you're not supposed to bring nail polish, shampoo, liquid foundation, lip gel or mascara, creams or lotions. Can anyone explain to me how personal lubricant escaped the general creams and lotions category? Are we trying to make sure the air marshals can still get into the Mile High Club?

Personally, I prefer to take my chances, under the auspices of the don't ask, don't tell policy. Nothing I don't want to lose gets on the plane with me, which means I'm packing bottles of perfume for the first time in years, but I'm willing to risk losing my lip lacquer in order to have it available as the plane descends. If you fess up about your tube of Chapstick, chances are excellent they'll take it away from you. They didn't even question me when I flew out of JFK on August 13th.