Type-casting

Portfolio dating? We've come so far - now we can graduate from Wharton, get a job as a corporate banker and apply our expensively acquired portfolio diversification skills to our dating lives:

Portfolio dating, my system for personal fulfillment, entails collecting people, not eliminating them. The point is to assemble an array of relationships with people who possess all the qualities you need, much like assembling a diverse stock portfolio maximizes long-term gain. I separate my portfolio into three main categories. Type I, the Hookup Pal; Type II, the Platonic Boyfriend or Girlfriend; and Type III, the Motivator. In a perfect day, you have brunch with your Type II, and an afternoon date with your Type I, and you discuss book-jacket designs over late cappuccinos with your Type III. You can also have hybrid Type I/III relationships that satisfy both carnal and cerebral desires.

Ms. Prins appears to be building a village to tend to her various current needs, and the FG, while troubled by the pitiless tone of this article, begrudgingly applauds her honesty. That said, didn't we just used to call these pidgeon-holed people friends?