Shopaholic Part Three: V-day approacheth

First of all, it's clear (or it should be) that we're all scaling back this year. (And aren't we all glad we didn't spend a year of our lives filming Confessions of a Shopaholic, coming soon to a theatre near you.) That said, one can't exactly ignore the fourteenth of February, so here are some do's and don'ts ... unless you're trying to make other people feel bad.

Don't buy me a $3,000 Chanel hair comb which I will never wear. (Besides, what if she sold her hair to buy you a platinum watch fob chain?) Practicality should be, at a minimum, a guideline. It still doesn't quite justify an $800 Marc Jacobs clutch, but at least that's something I could use (and it's darling).

Remember that flowers cost more in the next two weeks than they do any other time of year except Mother's Day week. Save them for non-holiday moments. Set a five week reminder in your Google calendar, if you must, but they're really not necessary on V-Day.

Along the same lines of the impractical comes the frog prince. First of all, do men really like dresser-top do-dads? And if they do, what message does this send? You were an ugly reptile until I came along and made you the man you are today? (Even if all your friends are nodding their heads at the moment, that's less than kind.) And also, for $65, I suspect he'd prefer a nice bottle of scotch. Throw in a set of the right glasses and you're set.


Tasteful lingerie/sleepwear is always appropriate - this is not really the time to purchase anything resembling a Halloween costume. Remember, practical, as in, she'll wear it more than once. Unless you're all about that, in which case, you're probably in the wrong boudoir at the moment. Not that there's anything wrong with that

Crate and Barrel has an affordable selection of heart shaped kitchen items - I suggest baking your beloved a cake and presenting it in the pan. Two gifts in one, and you clearly made an effort. (I know the Pastry Chef's going to like this one.) And if you're culinarily challenged, there are decent enough pre-measured mixes out there.

If he's fortunate enough to have kept a job that requires a suit, and has a sartorial bone in his body, you might get away with hidden message collar stays, but that's stretching the practical once more.

Frankly, as J-Lo once sang, my love don't cost a thing. Turn off the blackberry/cellphone/TV set, picnic on the living room carpet, laugh, relax, play "remember the time we ...", and spend the time together.